Alright, look. The Dreamcast was ahead of its time. I will die on that hill. A hill that also has Sonic Adventure down as the best 3D Sonic game ever made, and Croc: Legend of the Gobbos as one of the most frustrating and overrated games to hit the PlayStation. Yes, I’m this hill by myself – why do you ask?
Sega’s absolutely wonderful, beautiful, sensual Dreamcast was released in 1998 initially and a year later in the EU. I can’t have been more than eleven when we got ours – Sonic Adventure, some rally racing game, a Ceasar’s Palace game for mum to mindlessly whirl slots on, a couple of RPG games; I still have all the ones from my childhood. In fact, I still have the Dreamcast itself – a horrendous nicotine yellow from all the cigarettes my mum used to smoke in its presence (and mine).
It’s no suprise really that a system that had awesome memory cards with screens like Tamagotchis would have some high-tech games to go with it. And Seaman is one of those games – a game that offers something no game at the time could. And sometimes that was sometimes good – and other times, not so good.
Seaman. Oh yes, what a game. And what a name, too. They knew, didn’t they. I mean, they had to have known. It’s not like the word spunk, which only means cum in England (there’s even a kind of gummy sweet called Spunk, sold in Denmark). You know what “seaman” sounds like, everyone who speaks english knows what that means. Come on, love.
Well, this seaman is one that you grow from a little tadpole, and has the voice of George Takei.
The game also utilised a microphone input for the Dreamcast, one of the very few games to do so, to allow you to chat with your Seaman. And he would give you advice, or tell you about his day. It sounds therapeutic honestly, and Mr Takei has a soothing voice so I’m here thinking maybe this game will save me all my therapist fees.
The game also used the consoles real-time function, kind of like how Animal Crossing does (for example) to trigger time-based events. So you would have to pop into the world of Seaman now and again, otherwise the fishy bastard would die.
This is what’s crazy to me – imagine spending so much time and effort in raising your little Takei-fish, talking to it, checking in every day; then for whatever reason you miss a day or two. You come back to a tank filled with dead Seamen.
If or when I become a parent, when my kid becomes that age where they want a pet, I will slap a bit of Seaman onto the Dreamcast. If my kid can keep the fish alive all the way up to when it turns into a horrifying frog creature, she can get a hamster. If she still wants one, after being so deeply traumatised by the game. This had been Parenting Tips with Octy, thank you for joining.